Coming HOME: A Return to Love
“I really honor all of my grandparents, but I think one of them that comes to mind and kind of represents a lot of the stories I’ll be telling is my paternal grandma, my nai-nai. I took care of her during the pandemic. She had Alzheimer’s disease. I’m just so grateful for the time that I had with her. Because to me, she did she represents the very intense, meticulous journey and immigrant story, but she also represents arts and romanticism. She loved to sing and draw and do arts and crafts. And she’s just the perfect mixture of everything that I love about life. So I really honor her and I miss her dearly. Thinking about her puts a smile on my face. ”
In our eighth portrait of the “Coming HOME: Re-Storying U.S.” digital series, we are honored to embark on an inspiring journey alongside Riley Lim from Fremont, California. Riley talks about his committed love affair with the nature of love as he recounts loss, romance, and the arts.
What is your artifact of heritage?
“So for my heritage, I brought in a red envelope. Usually when people think of a red envelope, it’s during Chinese New Year. They’re given to you by elders, and they’re full of luck and good wishes and good health. But I think one of my favorite cultural practices is to put under my pillow and sleep with it.
It just really connects me to my family. They can be very practical and logistical. Also, they can be very superstitious, and they love small charms and small cultural practices. And I just love that about them. So whenever I do small things like that, it really reminds me of them.
So this one was from last Chinese New Year. And every year, we get new ones. And I think this one was for my grandma. My mom says ‘remember to put it in your under your pillow.’ And I’ll do it.
And I just keep it for the rest of the year until I get a new envelope and replace it. And yeah, just the small things that bring you comfort.”
What have you learned since 2020?
“The story about my grandma was definitely the most impactful thing that happened to me during the pandemic. So she started living with us in 2015. But starting the year 2020, her Alzheimer’s was getting really really bad and and that was really heart wrenching to see her lose herself and I was losing her every single day as she forgot my name and who I was and who she was, and that was just so heartbreaking.
Every single day all I wanted to do was just have more time. Even with the pandemic, it felt like all we had was time; with her, it just felt like time with her was just going away. It was a moment where I not only learned how to be a good grandson, but I also wanted to learn how to be a good parent because just taking care of her was my my greatest occupation during the time and and it was painful, but also just wonderful that I could be there for her when she when she needed and eventually when she passed away.”
Are there any myths about life that have died for you?
“The biggest myth that has died is sentimentality and art are not trivial things. My mom is from Hong Kong and my dad is from China. I think because of their stories of survival, and the immigration story was so rough on them, that it didn’t give them a jaded outlook on life, but they definitely valued being meticulous, focused, very practical.
Dreams are for dreamers and not meant for survivors. In the beginning, I would think, like, ‘Oh, my God,’ every sentimental, romantic thing that I felt was useless. But then I realized that, you know, over the pandemic, and hearing more about their stories and taking care of my grandma, that their survival mentalities were fed by dreams, they were fed by the fact that they want to have my family prosper.
So, growing up, I always had this contradictory experience of you have to be practical and chase your dreams at the same time. It was so difficult to manage that, but now being with them and the pandemic, it just it made me realize that my romantic, sentimental self is a part of me. And they are the fuel that drive me to do the practical things in life. Their opposite, but yet they are one and together. So kind of this just beautiful paradox that happens.”
What is your letter of hope?
To future generations,
This may concern based on the alarming rate at which social media and corporations have taken over our lives, I have no doubt that they have already entirely consumed yours. I’m already seeing adults falling in love with robots and children scrolling on iPads before they can even walk.
But for those of you in the future, who feel overwhelmed by the flashy advertisements, and feel cynical of digital interactions, I want you to remember some of the sappy yet heartwarming things that I’ve done so far in my life in order to inspire healing and hope for yours.
The romantic and sentimental archetype has always been a vital part of who I am. And I hope this is true for some of you. So here are some things I love when I danced with my first love next to the Sun River in Paris.
He was so easily embarrassed and stubborn that all I wanted to do was kiss him. I love reading and writing poems and French. I always say the language choose me and not the other way around. I love asking my parents how they fell in love in college (even though I’ve already heard the story 1000 times). I love it when my sister and I tell each other that we’re best friends. I love laughing with my friends until the whole room begins to stare. I love reminiscing about my nai-nai who used to belt my favorite Cantonese songs in the middle of the day. I love sitting with my po-po at the kitchen table, stuffing ourselves with fruit.
I love the time I had taken care of my nai-nai who had Alzheimer’s. It showed me the infinite horizons that love can truly reach. These moments and memories have helped me get through the troubling times of the pandemic. I will continue to reignite the splendor of my romantic soul.
Please believe in the sentimental. Believe in the romantic. They nourish you during times when the end is not in sight, and no robot or gadget can ever replace the warmth they bring.
Love,
Riley Lim
As the nation approaches its historic 250th anniversary in 2026, we embark on a profound digital storytelling journey — “Coming HOME: Re-Storying U.S.” Our mission is clear: to help people heal through remembrance. We’re dedicated to capturing 250 heartfelt stories by 250, documenting the vibrant tapestry of America’s past, present, and future. In this remarkable project, we celebrate the power of stories. Each narrative is a thread woven into the fabric of our shared history, reminding us of our resilience, our diversity, and our unity. Together, we explore the rich tapestry of heritage, healing, and hope. Join us on this transformative journey as we pave the road to America’s 250th anniversary, one story at a time. Follow us @conversationsbycourage on Instagram and TikTok.For information about Coming HOME: Restorying U.S., please contact Conversations By Courage.🌠🏡✨ #ComingHOMEseries #HealingThroughRemembrance #America250 #HeritageStories #HopefulFuture #DigitalStorytelling
Team Credits:
Featured Curator: Riley Lim
Michelle Kamau, M.A, Co-Creator, Photographer
David Brose, Co-Creator, Videographer
Victiashea (Tasha) Matthews Co-Creator, Facilitator