The Intimacy of Social Change

A Crisis of Carelessness and the Salvation of Connection

Dear Class of 2023,

Tonight, I’d like to remark on why we all came here, which in my opinion, is love.

For families, when you heard about your beloved being celebrated, you decided to come. And for us, as Kroc students, when we heard that beloveds were being harmed and unloved, we came here.

Love called us. Whether it was observing our environment in dire need of restoration, recognizing our children’s need for nurturing, or witnessing our nations and communities in desperate need of healing, we responded to love’s call to care for someone.

If we’re being honest, we have to grapple with the truth that we cannot approach the things of social change, peace, and justice through intellect alone. They are not just merely matters of the mind as they are matters of the heart.

Mending our Brokenheartness

The crisis of carelessness and the culture of pain that feeds upon suffering is root crisis that pervades all social justice issues. When everyone has experienced some form of violence, we must confront the essential question: How can we heal our wounded hearts?

Our broken hearts have led us to believe that love has abandoned this place, and our pain, pleas, and suffering often seem to fall on deaf ears. To all of the survivors in this room, you’re right. Too often we suffer in silence because we don’t believe we will heard. We dare not risk the threat of being rejected in public. Yet, I have learned from our stories that pain and suffering are quite pedestrian, they have visited us all.

And if so, social change is much closer, much more intimate than we realize. We don’t have to get a degree. We don’t have to read books to feel for someone.

Changing with and for Community

So we want to do social change, belong to someone, belong to some place. Let us summon the courage to declare, “I will care for you, love you, and belong to you. You are mine, and I will shoulder the responsibility for your well-being.”

Care is the rent we pay for our community, and our commitment demonstrates our ability to appreciate the beauty of brokenness when we remember that we don’t need to be “put together” to come together.

Social change can be as intimate as preparing a meal for a friend, as small as saying “hello, please, and thank you” to a stranger, as gentle as saying “I love you still” despite being hurt, and as bold as saying “I am sorry for hurting you.”

Change is an intimate affair that happens in the most private places: our hearts.

Compassion as a Guide

If we are truly committed to the cause of social change, I challenge each and every one of us to embrace ourselves with unconditional love, accepting our flaws, contradictions, and contested histories. It’s through this self-compassion that we discover our capacity to extend genuine love to others.

Compassion serves as the compass leading us to the door of love. When we recognize that love requires no passwords, secret knocks, or loud demands — only an open heart — it becomes clear that love is our home, and one cannot be a guest in their own house.

So my suggestion is come home often, and when you must depart, always carry a piece of home with you. In doing so, there will be love in the world because you are in the world.

Note: The speech has been edited for writing purposes. Speech orginally spoken at the University of San Diego, May 21st 2023.